Teleports Party to Reception Hall, Chez Ogrez
Wallet-sized card, carved from ivory, with engraved calligraphy, magically written in the primary language of its bearer. On the front is the Chez Ogrez name and a picture of the bearer. When seating is available, the calligraphy glows with a golden light.
The reverse side is blank until seating is available, at which time the following instructions appear in illuminated golden script:
*Gather thy party, standing in a circle, facing center. Bearer holds Reservation Card forward in right hand. Other Party members place right hands atop bearer’s hand, and together recite the Spell of Invocation: “We understand and agree to the Terms and Conditions of Chez Ogrez. It’s chow time!”
In fine print appear the following Terms and Conditions:
- Adventurer-casual attire, semi-formal, or formal.
- Management reserves the right to refuse service to anyone.
- ABSOLUTELY NO SMOKING!
- Paladins and other Lawful Stoopid (read: “good”) zealots are welcome at “BE NO EVIL” nights, but otherwise dine at their own risk. Chez Ogrez is an IFGS-designated, CN DMZ. Troublemakers will be featured carpaccio at next seating.
- All weapons and offensive magics will be automatically checked at the door upon arrival, whether U like it or not.
- Minimum charges may apply, to be deducted automatically upon arrival. Alternative is 10 g.p. nonrefundable handling and teleportation fee, if Party wishes to leave without being served.
- Management assumes no responsibility for lost or stolen items. Kindly leave unnecessary items at home.
- Thank you for your patronage.
- Current invitees: Lahriha, Tru Bard, Grinding Gears Party, Martina-the-Magnificent (First meal complimentary!)
- Currently keep yer frikkin’ distance: Lester-the-weak, Dumbass Enlil-quisition (U SUCK and U know it!), any and all Giant Leeches!